Lazy Days of Self Care

I love the idea of a lazy summer, and perhaps I'll have one in another decade when my kids are grown. Sooner if they ever decide to try sleep away camp, or if I ever let them travel around New York City unchaperoned. But this year, when they are 8 and 10, unstructured days invariably bring incessant negotiations over screen time. I wish it weren't this way and while I'm quick to judge my own parenting, I'm also far from alone.

So my summer will not be lazy, but filled with day camps and activities my sons enjoy (baseball, chess, climbing, cooking, electronic Legos, taekwondo), to the point that I have a spreadsheet to keep track of all the logistics. We are insanely lucky to have these opportunities at our disposal. These are days I will remember and miss. And in all the running around, it will be easy for me to get lazy about self-care. I was reminded of this on a recent over-scheduled Sunday when I did not take any time for meditation or movement and felt edgy and short-tempered. 

I am very much a proponent of quick practices that can be done anywhere to calm the nervous system and feel better physically. (My Instagram account is full of them, and see the graphic and ideas below.) But with the aspiration of a lazy summer for myself someday, and the hope that some of you do have a bit of time to luxuriate, I have posted one of my mom's longer meditation practices this month, called MEDITATION Path of Light. It is a beautiful 26-minute practice that's really resonating with me right now. (If you are new to meditation, I recommend that you try some of the shorter practices in my collection first. For free access to Path of Light and more than two dozen other breathing and meditation practices, subscribe here.) 

In the Path of Light meditation, as in many of her teachings, my mom guides us through alternate nostril breathing and meditation on the mantra so hum (meaning "I am that"). She then asks us to visualize a silvery white thread of support from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. We see the thread growing thicker and getting thinner again, but even when it's nearly invisible, the support it provides is still there. While I won't fit this practice in every morning this summer, the image of the thread is one that can travel with me anywhere. May it serve you at whatever pace you go. There is a season for it all. 

Love, 
Sara

Doing something for yourself is better than nothing 

Even in a best case scenario where you have a routine to meditate and move your body, stress still accumulates all day long. That is why I am becoming increasingly passionate about the idea of having a toolkit of strategies at our disposal -- not to be in a constant state of self-regulation, but to turn to at least a few times throughout the day, and whenever needed. 

I'm going to share with you a list of strategies I recently gave to a private yoga client who, like so many of us, is feeling overwhelmed and looking to infuse moments of calm into her life. I suggested that she pick 2-3 of these every day: 

1. Whenever possible/appropriate, hug a pet or another person. 
2. Sit on the floor back to back with a friend or trusted relative and breathe, as shown here. (Feeling the breath in the back provides a feeling of safety and connection.)
3. When you notice your body in stress response, say "pause" or "stop" and "let it go."
4. Lie with legs up the wall for 1-5 minutes. (Here is a multitasking version of the relaxation posture.)
5. Alternate nostril breathing for 1-2 minutes.
6. Hug yourself and inhale twice through the nose, and exhale audibly out the mouth 10 times, as shown in the second exercise here. 
7. Repeat a mantra like "peace begins with me" or "I release my stress." 
8. Muscle tense and release.
9. Do yoga nidra, guided relaxation, especially if you can't sleep. (See the file here called 61 Points, 75 Breaths.) 
10. Shake your body. 

Also: Get out in nature. 

I was just reminded of the importance of practicing tools like this regularly amid life's smaller stressful moments so we remember to use them when a major stress is thrown our way. On Friday afternoon, my sons and I were out for lunch after seeing Inside Out 2 (highly recommended) when I got a phone alert that front door to our house was open. We were immediately terrified that our dog Suzie Taylor had gotten out. The boys sobbed as I drove home. I slowed my pounding heart with prolonged exhales and repeated aloud, "Suzie Taylor, you have to be OK." And she was (though it's still unclear how the door opened). We found her sitting on the living room floor, beside the open door, just awaiting our return. 

My nervous system did what it was supposed to do: It went into overdrive, and then when the threat passed, it settled back down, aided by doggie hugs and cuddles (see suggestion #1). Phew. We are not supposed to be calm all the time, but it is a problem when the nervous system gets stuck in the state of fight or flight, as mine was for years. We are meant to escalate and de-escalate. Rinse, lather, repeat. 

Here is some of my recent content to get your body feeling better, too: 

1. A daily routine to promote joint longevity and balance that you can do in about two minutes.
2. Quick relief for the tightest hamstrings and hips (routines I'm doing with my son Maceo to help his flexibility in taekwondo).
3. What I consider two essential moves for low back pain.
4. Stop, drop and fire up your core. 
5. And when all else fails: a yoga pose for mid-back opening that you can do in bed.