Your Free New Year’s Mini-Retreat
Here's a little story about habit change. For months, when I walked my dog Suzie Taylor and let her lead the way, she guided me to my kids' elementary school and back home. It makes sense that she'd stick with the routine she knows, since every morning during the academic year, this is where I lead her. All last summer, Suzie Taylor still went to school. She even knows a few routes to the same destination.
Last week, when school was closed for winter break, Suzie Taylor veered off our usual path, turning onto a side road we don't usually have occasion to travel on. I wondered what was going on in her mind: Did she work up the courage to try this? Most likely, she was simply curious. No big buildup was required. She followed her instinct, and it was fine -- quite nice, actually -- and then she went about her day fetching toys and curling up on the couch.
The next day, Suzie Taylor tried the new route again. The day after that, she went a different direction entirely. As I write this she's been doing a combination of new routes and old, sometimes even walking to school after a few minutes on a new street. She took what was already a lovely routine and made it more interesting. One morning we stayed on a new street long enough to arrive at school from a different direction.
I'd like to offer Suzie Taylor as inspiration for all of us setting intentions for the new year. Follow curiosity. Do what feels charming. Realize that small shifts have an impact, profoundly so over time.
Some decisions do require a great leap of faith, after which there's no going back. The moves, job changes, breakups and new relationships. But so many of our daily decisions and habits can be tried on for size. While I do believe it is useful -- even essential -- to examine and let go of what no longer serves us, we also can build on what's working already. Life is hard enough without our being unduly hard on ourselves.
Suzie Taylor also illustrates a few common pitfalls with New Year's intentions.
1. When we spent a few days over the holidays at my dad's house, Suzie Taylor was a wreck, walking around with her tail between her legs. A rescue, she's afraid whenever we travel that she's not coming home. I hope she will eventually break free of this pattern, but our actions can backfire when they are too jarring, causing us to freeze. It is so much better to set a small, doable goal you can stick with than a big, lofty resolution that's abandoned by February.
2. When it rains, Suzie Taylor wants to go nowhere. We all have our off days. No need to aim for perfection.
This is the first time in 17 years that a Neufeld (my mother or I) has not taught a New Year's Day yoga workshop through Your Community Yoga Center in Connecticut. The studio is in the midst of moving, and I have a bag packed ready to be present for the birth of my nephew, who could enter the world at any moment. Though I will miss seeing many of you in person and online, it is an incredible honor for me to stand in for my mom and support my sister on this momentous occasion.
I am offering below the materials for you to do your own private New Year's retreat at home. If you have any insights from the journal prompts, I'd love for you to email and tell me. I am grateful for our connection in whatever form it takes.
Happy new year.
Love,
Sara
Instructions for your New Year's mini-retreat
Set aside about an hour for quiet. Get a pen and notebook (actual ink and paper, please), and find a small space where you can move, sit comfortably and lie down. Set your phone on "do not disturb."
Begin with these joint rotations, this sequence or about five minutes of any movement that feels good to you.
Do a one-minute foot massage, one minute Breath of Joy and two minutes of alternate nostril breathing. (Use your thumb and ring finger to block off one side as you breathe in the other, then switch and exhale out the other side. Imagine the breath going back and forth like an inverted V.)
Take out your notebook, and answer whichever of these questions feel resonant for you.
1. Make a list of 1-5 feelings you want to experience in 2025. Then jot down a small thing you can do to evoke each of these feelings.
Examples:
I want to feel calm. I can spend one minute a day breathing mindfully.
I want to feel grounded. I can spend an extra five minutes a day outside.
I want to feel strong. I can spend five minutes a day on strengthening exercises.
Circle the one or a few calling to you most to prioritize. Focus on the feeling rather than the outcome, and focus on small, doable steps. Non-action can be equally powerful.
Example:
I want to feel free. I will not make any resolutions that stress me out or make me feel like I'm not already enough as I am.
2. Make a gratitude list: at least 10 things in your life that are going well right now. This can include your accomplishments from 2024, and again, these things do not have to be big to be significant. Note anything positive that grew out of a challenge in your life. Consider adding to this list regularly.
3. Make a list of habits or relationships that are not serving you. What obligations do you accept when you'd rather decline? You don't need to let go of everything at once; awareness is a major step. Consider circling one thing you are ready to let go of or an area where you can loosen your grip to make space for new possibilities.
4. Make a list of activities that bring you joy with no end goal. Circle one you'll do more often in 2025.
5. Let's say there is something big you want (a new job, relationship, etc.). Write down the feelings you believe you would have when you get it. What other, accessible experiences can evoke the same feeling? If you want a romantic relationship to feel connected, you might also experience connection when you talk on the phone with an old friend or play with a pet or volunteer at a soup kitchen. Then, list one small, doable action that brings you closer to your larger goal. Want to write a book? Perhaps you commit to writing for 15 minutes a day.
6. Write down one way you can be kinder to yourself and one way you can be kinder to others.
7. Write a worry list, what is currently causing you anxiety, and consider adding to this regularly, too. Name it to tame it.
8. Looking back at 2024, what experiences will you remember most? What were your greatest joys and biggest disappointments?
9. If time and money were no object, what would you love to do or create in 2025? Brainstorm without apology.
10. List one or more trusted people in your life with whom you will share your goals for accountability and support.
When you're finished, put down your pen, walk to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and say "I love you." Consider making this a small daily habit.
Guided relaxation
Lie down, and tense and release your muscles from your feet to your face. Then hit play to the audio recording here called 61 Points, 75 Breaths -- my mom teaching a yoga nidra, or guided relaxation.
Meditation
Open up the library of meditation audio files (access here with a free subscription to my email newsletter) and select one that feels resonant. I recommend one of these two:
Transforming Negativity (14 minutes): If you have something heavy on your heart you need to let go of to make space for new possibilities.
Shakti Building (25 minutes): A powerful practice to get you feeling fired up to go after your goals.
When the meditation is complete, notice how you feel, physically and emotionally. Before opening your eyes, put your hands on your heart, feel it beating, and say "thank you."
Namaste. 🙏❤️